Believe in Miracles

2.5 years ago we made plans to have a baby. God had other plans.

2.5 years we waited, cried and begged for a a sweet baby to call our own.

In 2.5 years, we have learned that God's time is not our own and we do not deserve anything- everything is a gift.

Life does not always go the way it is planned and sometimes you have to wait on HIS perfect timing.......

WE ARE PREGNANT!!

Baby Willingham is due June 12, 2013.

I cannot tell you how excited, thankful, grateful and just plain estactic that we are having a baby.

We are just blessed!!

 

 

Before I tell the story I want to share a few things. From these years of waiting, I learned many life lessons but here are the ones I am most thankful.

I got tired of praying for a baby that seemed to never come so I would pray that this month- if it wasn't the month- that it would not hurt so bad. Every month seemed like a death to me. I would grieve every month. It hurt. Alot. I have heard people say that about trying for a child but I did not believe it until it happened to me. It just consumes you. 

I would say those were the darkest days for me and I wanted God to take that away. He did.

It is funny how your prayers will change from wanting a baby so bad, to - just don't let it hurt so bad God. Take it away. He did.

For the last three months, it got a little easier. I wouldn't cry when someone else was pregnant or if I  wasn't. It was a blessing. A blessing to not have tears.

Because I can say through all of this- I am definitely tired of crying.

Our family- parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles who were just there for us when they knew we needed someone. We love you and thank you for all you have done for us and especially praying for us through all of this. Thank you for the cards Mom and Dad. I was just reading one the other day and it was from October 2011 almost 1 year ago- how ironic- where you told me to keep going- that Jay and I would have a sweet baby to hold one day and you were right.

My friends- friends who laughed, cried and prayed for me while all of this was going on. They are truly special to me and I know it was hard for them to see me change into someone else because trust me, I changed. Things like this change you.
Brandi, Allison, Larae, Krystal, Elena, Kelli - thank you for being by my side and understanding. I will be forever grateful. You are all so special to me and I love you all and your precious babies! Anna Kate- thank you for praying for me and Uncle Jay every night! You are a precious girl !!

Josh and Keri Lynn- thank you for being here for us always. Your friendship is a true blessing and we love ya'll!!

Working was hard sometimes. Trying to be happy at school was very hard somedays and there were days ,I was just devastated because we had been to the Dr. with yet again bad news. I would not have made it without my team at school. They listened to me, let me cry, prayed for me and made me smile on days I didn't know if I could go on. Marci, Kelli, Laura and Tasha- you all are the best!! Some people never find a family at work but I can truly say that you are my family. Everyone at work( if I forget your name don't be offended- I forget alot these days)Heather, Shirley, Jessica, Liz, Erin, Krista, Paula, Pam, who prayed for me or encouraged me in the hallway-thank you so much!! I appreciate you all!!!Love you!!

 

I could write for days but I will save that for another post!

 

On to the story:

At the beginning of October, it was almost time to see if we were pregnant or not. I took a pregnancy test 5 days early and it was negative.
So, I was prepared for the worst. My back was killing me- killing me. But I didn't think anything about it.
October 3rd, I was officially two days late but I just knew that I was not pregnant. I decided that morning that I would take a test when I got home from school.

I had to go to the dreaded Walmart and buy groceries. I stayed at school late so by the time I got home, it was after 5:30.

Scruff had to go outside and that takes at least 10 minutes of my life- for him to go on every leaf in the yard.. Then I ran back inside and decided to go ahead and take a test.

 
I wanted to get it over with. I took it and just left it in the restroom- didn't look at it. Went to the kitchen and put up a few bags and then ran back in there to look.....

It said pregnant....
I could not believe it. I laughed and laughed. ( I did an infertility bible study called Sarah's Laughter. It talks about when Sarah and Abraham were told they would have a baby in their old age- she laughed.) I thought that was ironic. I just knew I would cry for sure but, I laughed.

1 minute later I heard Jay pulling up and going in the back yard. I had to think fast.

I quickly wrote on the chalkboard in our kitchen, " Guess who is going to be a big brother."

And I got the video camera. I wanted to set it up but there was no time.

Jay comes in the door. I call for him to come to the kitchen and tell him to read the chalkboard. HE IS A SLOW READER. At first he was like what? Then I said, "I'm pregnant". We hugged, laughed - all of this while I am holding a video camera. It is probably the worst video in history but I am glad I documented it.

We immediately start taking pictures with the chalkboard.

The above is my sad attempt to get Scruff in the picture. He looks possessed!!!

 

It was just a great day. After all the sadness we've had, it was wonderful to have something to be happy about.

We celebrated by eating at Los Mexicanos.And started planning how we were going to tell our families. I wanted to tell immediately but Jay made me wait.

It was the best day, feeling, moment and we are just so blessed. God did not have to let us be pregnant but he did and we are so thankful.On October 19th, we got to see Baby W for the first time and hear the heartbeat!!!

 

 

One day, we will tell Jaylie or Jase:

You were wanted. We cried, begged and did everything we could to have you in our life. We wanted you more than anything else in the world!