Thought for the day

I got this in a email from school yesterday and I really, really needed to hear it. Maybe it will help you too!

Yours and Mine

No one likes to face pain. When I have lived through suffering, my natural instinct is to move on and try to forget it. But God has other plans. What may be my natural instinct is not His. He never wastes my hurt or what I have faced in my life, and He does not want me to just bury it. He wants me to use it for His glory. How He longs to use the pain I've experienced—the things that I regret—the highs and the lows—the fears and the failures—the very things I want to hide from—to help others! He wants my life open and exposed so others might find freedom from their own pain, and I might discover healing for mine.

Ouch! Open and exposed is a very hard place to be! I want to build a wall to protect myself from my own pain. But building a wall doesn't protect me. It imprisons my heart. It imprisons my spirit. It imprisons healing of not only my own wounds, but those of others. My wall turns my heart into a heart of stone because, in closing myself off, I have shut out the Holy Spirit. However, when I allow that wall of false protection to tumble down, the Lord turns my pain into victory not only for myself, but for others. “I'll give you a new heart, “the Lord promises, “and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26).

            A heart that yields completely to the Holy Spirit is a heart of tender “spiritual flesh”. It is a heart that is malleable, vulnerable, and not afraid of the pain that often accompanies healing. It is heart that is ready to face the hurt of the past or the present head-on, and allow the Holy Spirit to do whatever is necessary. Willing to deal with whatever must be dealt with, this heart trusts that the Lord who has exposed the pain is capable of healing all that has caused it.

            "Now the Lord is the Spirit,” Paul imparts, “and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). The Holy Spirit will liberate me from any wall that I erect, but I must be willing. Do I wear a mask so someone else will not see what I am going through? Once, on a day when my heart was broken, a friend asked if I was alright? And I answered, “I'm fine”. Perhaps God had sent my friend to help me at my point of need, and I held the wall firmly in place. Perhaps I had missed the very healing God wished to impart. I know that the Lord does not wish me to expose my pain to just anyone, but He does want me sensitive enough to the Holy Spirit to know when He has sent someone that I can trust. He longs for me to know when I have the freedom to open up my heart.

            On the other hand, perhaps the Holy Spirit wants to use me in the life of someone who is deeply hurt by either something in their past or something that has them bound in the present. Do I hold the wall in place, and not share my own pain and experience because I am afraid of my own vulnerability? If I do, there is no freedom because the Holy Spirit is held out by my wall. I have denied not only my own healing, but possible healing for someone else.

       Christ sets me free from the “old covenant veil” I hold in place so others do not have to see my vulnerability
and the pain in my life. My mind and heart do not have to be dull and hard. I do not need a mask to hide joy that
has faded because I don't want others to know. Where the Holy Spirit is, I have the liberty, the freedom, the

vulnerability, the trust, the faith, and the purpose to lay my heart before others so that there may be healing for

those the Lord has entrusted to me. And healing for me.

(Devotional copied from Edgewood Devotionals)

Catch up

It has been a long time since my last post. But if you only knew how crazy work has been the past month or so, you would understand.
I cannot believe it is November....the year is almost over. So I thought I would play catch up through some pics which are from summer time on.  These are not the only pics- I'm not that boring!

We went to Gulf Shores in July

 Had the girls over at the end of July...look at all the kiddos...now we have Emmalee

I almost hyperventilated when we all were taking this picture. It was so funny...Reese did not feel too good but oh how cute her poodle outfit was especially when her little head would drop. Emmalee was crying, MaKenna was injured during the photograph and Anna Kate was a trooper.

 The survivors of the picture....

 Look at Emmalee...love that hair!!!

 Josh, Hannah and Stephanie at the beach.

 AU game

 Love this picture

Here is my new favorite piece of furniture...windowpane table.

I got this at OxfordFest. I put wedding day keepsakes in it. I love it!!!

 I also got this to match it but do not have anything in it yet...

And now I guess Blogger is mad at me- not only you Elena and will not turn my pics the right way so I am going to stop for the night.
I leave you with me and my baby boy!! Him is so cute!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

10 years ago on this day..give or take a few days...was the first time I went to J's house.
It was his 18th birthday, we worked at the Pig together and had talked a couple of times. Krystal worked at the Pig too and so on Saturday, she told me that she was invited to his birthday party but wanted me to come along.
I would like to take this time to thank Krystal or Krystalina( J calls her that) for taking me because otherwise we probably would not be together....or maybe I should kick her...just kidding.
I was very nervous that night because I am so nervous around new people. I'll never forget that I was the only girl that had on shorts and I felt weird. Weird what you remember....
But I do remember that  J was " creeping"  or "macking "on the ladies that night.. not me or Krystal but some others..who shall not be named. So obviously it was not love at first sight between us because it took him a whole month later to call me. No, I am not bitter.... But I still bring up this fact very birthday he has and he always has a different excuse.
Happy Birthday J!! 28 years is a long time- but just think 10 of those years you have spent with me and I am sure they have been the best ;).
I love you.

Willington and Work

School is back. It has been so hard to get up in the morning this time around. I don't know why- maybe because I do not sleep well anymore. I rarely ever sleep an entire night through anymore. I try to go to bed about 10 but never close my eyes until about 11 and then I am up almost every hour on the hour. J says we are getting old and this is what happens- whateva- we are not that old. So needless to say, I hold on as long as I can in the mornings and sleep until the last possible second. Then when I get home in the afternoons, I am so tired. If any of you have any sleep advice, let me know.

However, this year of school feels different to me.  This was my 3rd First Day of School week. I believe the first week(s) and last week(s) are the most difficult. By far this was the easiest first week I have ever had and I hope it continues to be that way.

We did alot of fun things last week- tangrams, read books( yes math has books), got to use the laptops(white Mac books....so cool). They told me on Thursday I was their favorite teacher so far.
As much as I loved hearing that, it is not going to last long. They will not like me when we are doing parts of math that are not fun. When we are reviewing for standardized tests for the upteenth time, they will probably hate me.

But I have learned that God has entrusted me with these students for a reason. All of them need me for math but most need a responsible, caring, loving, firm, moral adult in their life. God puts us where we are needed and He has a purpose for us, no matter what our job might be. The first week of school I try not to pass judgement on these kids but I quickly find the students who are going to test me and am so quick to write them off as bad apples.

I am so thankful that God does not write me off when I mess up. As teachers, we don't need to write off our students so quickly. God wants me to influence them- no matter how hard it is and I am going to try my best.
Even when I am at my wits end, I have to remember I am here for a reason.

However.....

here is a pet peeve of mine: my name.

For some reason, I have no idea, kids cannot say Willingham. Last week, this is what I got:

Wellington, Willington. Willing...m, Mrs. Uh, Mrs. Ham, and last but not least.....Mrs. Whatchamacallit.

Mrs. Whatchamacallit caused to me to lose it and tell the precious one about disrespect and how calling me anything other than my name would result in a trip to the office. Every kid in the class sat there wide-eyed as I got my point across.
I just never thought when I became a Willingham that it would be that difficult to say. However, they do not think that saying Jaquaivnhgeomfmowfmn should be hard. I mean everyone can say that right. ( No I do not have a student with that name- but close.)

Praying for a great school year!! I am sure we will all learn alot especially how to pronounce Willingham!!

Say it ain't so...

I cannot believe that in less than two weeks I will be back at work. I had all these grand plans for the summer and not much on my to do list got accomplished.

My first order of business was to redo my kitchen. We are working on it as we speak. We have sanded down our old cabinets and stained them. This was a job!!! I can promise you this, I will never do it again unless I make thousands of dollars. It is worth it but my goodness it is a long process. 

Now, when I post pictures of them you may not like them. They have an antique/cabin look to them. But I love them. When we stained them it brought out all the grain in the wood that was not there before. We are getting the final measurement on our countertops( thanks to A-Master) and they should be here next week.

So sometime before next week, I have to paint the kitchen which has been the cause of sleepless nights and long stares at the kitchen walls. Now, I do not want to toot my own horn, but I am prettty good and very confident about paint colors. All of the current colors in my house were very quick decisions and I have never regretted them.  However, this kitchen has broke the mold and I just cannot decide. I really wanted a red or a green. But red is just to much and our kitchen has a lot of wall space. The green is still a possibility but I do not want a dark green or a very light green. I tried to continue the browns from my living room to the kitchen but that would just not work. Now, I am thinking a grayish tan or something like that. Usually, it takes me 20 minutes and I am done with deciding on paint-this has taken weeks.

Oh, and did I mention that the Hubs HATES to paint?

Let me brag on the Hubs for a minute. He can fix anything. I do mean anything. He loves to fix stuff up and to just have something to work on. However, painting causes him to turn into another person and I have to beg him to just get the high spots. It will be so. much. fun....

After we get the kitchen settled down, I am going to paint the laundry room. The color is "Robin's Egg Blue".
It is so pretty and I cannot wait to get it on the walls. I have to wait until we can move some stuff out of there and that will be we get this kitchen back together.

So, now I am left with less than 2 weeks, a kitchen to paint, and a laundry room to paint,with a beach trip thrown in, before I am too tired to get anything done. It takes me a while to adjust to working especially because I am there from 6:45 until al least 4 everyday. My backs hurts just thinking about it.

Now, I leave you with my baby boy, Scruff MaGruff. I do not know what I would do without this little guy. I love being his Momma!! He is so much like a baby but J and I love it!!

Beach Trip

My hubby loves spontaneous trips. No plans, no reservations, not much notice- basically just go with it.
So on Thursday last week, he text me and says, " I'm off until Wednesday- we are going to the beach."
Friday morning we left.
We had no trouble getting a room and ended up on the bottom floor where we could just walk right out on the beach.
Of course, after getting settled in our room our first order of business was, naturally, Walmart where we picked up some beach essentials.
I have one word for you- umbrella. The beach umbrella was life changing for J. We already had beach chairs but no umbrella. This umbrella allowed my hubby to stay out on the beach with me for the entire time. He loved it and I ended up loving it too. I think it made me lazy because then laying out in the hot sun, with my suncreen, seemed unbearable. By the way, who knew that you could tan so well with suncreen. I did not.
For the first time ever at the beach, I did not get burned once but look like an indian( words of my Mother).

 Lovin the umbrella....

 Beach pics...don't judge...done by the timer....

 Scruff stayed with Mom and Dad. He did get a present for being left. A frog pillow pal.

 HE LOVES IT. Now I did not pay $20 for this one. This was a cheap one I found on sale in Florida.

Since I have had Scruff, every year so far, he gets sick on my anniversary. Last year and this year, on June the 8, he has made it to the vet.  I think it is punishment for leaving him but he is really sick. Poor Scruff had to get two shots yesterday and I have to give him medicine for a while.
I don't know if he 's better yet. All he is currently doing is sleeping and whining.

Happy Anniversary

Today, Jay and I celebrated our third anniversary. I cannot believe that it has been 3 years.
We celebrated by a trip to the beach- which was wonderful, relaxing and exactly what we needed.
Happy Anniversary Jay!! I love you. Thank you for being such a wonderful husband and friend.

Yes I know..

it has been a while since I have posted. So here it is...
We have spent many weekends working on the lake and the boat.
Jay replaced the dock on our lot. The lot still needs lots of work but is on its
way to looking great.

 Let's play " Where is Scruff MaGruff?"
 Here is another fun fact about him; He loves the lake.
 He jumps in the water, swims, and loves to explore. He gets so excited when we are there.

 The boys working and Daddy...not so much.  I am loving the highwater socks and hat Dad.....
precious. Love you Dad!

 Scruff and GanDaddy

 Scruff checking out the fish!!

 Riding the four-wheeler

 Now, our other project is the boat. We took everything off the boat, put a new floor down and
put everything back on the boat.
Let me tell you....it was a lot of work. J worked us down. He does not play.

The boat is complete and back in the water. I will have pics soon of that.
We are going to enjoy the lake this summer.

Happy Mother's Day!

Just wanted to tell my Mother " Happy Mother's Day".
I love you so very much.
Thank you for all you do for J, Scruff and I.
Scruff says, " Love you Ganmama!"

You may not like this....

but I am going to tell you.
I feel like educators are under attack. Educators are up against so much right now and I know there are much more important things going on in this crazy world but this is important too.
Here are 3 things I hear people say who are not a part of education or who once were and have mysteriously forgotten:
1. " Well, you only work 180 days a year."
    Not hardly. There is not a day or even hour that school is not on mind. Planning lessons, writing lesson plans, studying for the next day are an everyday part of my life now. Please go ahead and try to pay me by the hour and it will break the education budget for sure. When we stay after school for games, club meetings, dances, tutoring, etc., we still get the same pay. But we do it for the kids.
2. "How much do you pay for your insurance,?  I bet nothing. I pay $1100."
   I heard the best statement ever at an education rally. This statement ( paraphrased) was made by one of my fellow educators.
" You may pay that much. But we went into education knowing we were not going to be millionaires. We went into education because we want to teach children. We take that cut in pay so we can have the benefits. Don't throw that up in our face. What you all are proposing will cause many good teachers to change their profession because you leave them no choice."
3. " Tenure is stupid."
Well, no it is not. It was made to protect good teachers from losing their jobs. Imagine if teachers lost their jobs because their students did not perform well on a test.
Why do this? Do we fire a dentist because the tooth breaks, a doctor because he/she could not save their patient? No, because we are given "patients" who have not taken care of their teeth or patients who did not take care of their body and we have to fix them. Same for educators.
We take whatever we are given and work with it. Some of it good and some not so good. It doesn't matter we still do our job and do it the best we can.

There are others reasons for tenure that I am not going into because... well frankly, it could tick some people off so I am not.
I am thankful for my job. I love it 4.5 days of the school week. So if you can, let your voice be heard.
Fight for your teachers who are working everyday, giving their all, educating your children and playing part time parents because so many students do not have role models at home.
I know there will have to be cuts somewhere but lets start taking cuts at the top- not the bottom.

That was my rant for today...Sorry!!

Oh and I know some people have been missing me on here( Ok, maybe 1 person) so I will try to give an
update later on of my life the past few weeks!!!

Camping Update

We did not have to pretend we went camping because we did. ( If you are confused, see my previous post.)
Jayster and I stayed on our lake lot in this jewel. Actually. it was very nice and I must say- paradise compared to a tent.

This was our camping essentials- notice Cheeze-Its, Chips, Fudge Rounds. This is all

food that we usually do not eat. I went a little crazy at Walmart.

Scruff and his spread of toys. Fun fact about Scruff MaGruff: he counts his toys. He will watch you get all of these high priced toys out of his bag. If you forget one, he whines or digs in the bag until it is out.

Him is so smart!!

                                                                   
                                                                     This is our view!

Oh, how peaceful!

    
                                               

Our camping pic! Do you see the "Green Machine" blinging in the sun?

Yes, we are the owners of this fine piece of equipment.

It is a "work"truck. This is how J described it to me when he bought it.

I'm going to start using that excuse when I want something- its a work outfit, work shoes, work makeup.

So, when you see the green machine meeting you with a USA tag(for the love, I cannot wait until that is removed) on the front- you will know who it is.

Next, we went to Mom and Dads and cut down some trees. I decided I wanted to make something out of the wood. First, we were cutting the limbs into, like ,little discs. I am going to use them for my classroom for area and circumference.

Please excuse my face- I was terrified of 1). losing a digit, 2). getting wood in my eyes because lets face it- they can't be replaced.

I know you are asking yourself, " Why does she have on those clothes?" So did I. My husband says I should wear work clothes all the time. I did not know I would be lumberjacking on a Sunday afternoon- forgive me.

My "city" chiren will be amazed by these!!

Checking out the wood chips

This picture deserves no caption...Enjoy!

Joshua- watching us and keeping up with Scruff who was trying to attack every animal bigger than him.

Scruff chased away 2 dogs and 1 cat which looked like it had a part in the Lion King. I think Scruff has Napoleon syndrome- you know little man syndrome. Bless his heart, him is so cute I can hardly stand it!

Here is my new project- I am going to make a couple of things with these but that is for a later blog.

It was a great weekend! Family, sunshine and country living- it does not get much better than that!!

Oh and here is a verse for the week. I memorized this but forgot the book it was in. I love it and really, really needed to see this!

" Commit thy ways unto the Lord: trust also in him and He shall bring it to pass"

Camping anyone?

 Friday, Jay and I were going to go camping but then it decided to rain. I was very upset we did not get to go. J seems to think I am a baby when it comes to camping out.

Does he not know me at all? He seems to forget that I have camped out along with my fearless friends in the following:

a. 10 degree weather

b. 30 degree weather

c. Rain (tornado weather rain)

d. Back of a truck on Cheaha

e. 80 degree weather

May I add that most of these times it was very primitive. No restroom nearby, just the woods and multiple rolls of TP.

I will tell stories about a couple of these.

We used to campout for Krystal’s birthday every year- until we all had to get married and ruin that. Now, we are too old, married and have too many kids to rough it outside. I see camping trips in the future involving a cabin.  Back to the story, every November we would campout at her house. November is cold- especially back in our day when the weather acted normally. It would be so cold that we would sleep on top of each other with 10 blankets.

Towards the end of high school, some of us, would not make it all night and would sneak into the house to warm up. Those were the days. I always felt so cool that I made it through the night in the cold.
One of my favorites include a trip to Cheaha where we slept on the back of the truck. We did not have anything to build a fire with so we had to go borrow fire. Fun times!

Do you all remember the tornado that ripped apart the stadium in Linevegas? Would you like to know where I was during that storm? On the lake, in a small tee-tiny camper with a tree hanging over it- yes, people this is where Jeff Foxworthy gets his material.

Now, the men folks- Robert S, Joshua and Randy were going to sleep in the camper and the women, Mom, Anita, Lauren and I,  in a tent. My mother, sweet Tiny Tim, had forced Lauren and I to go ahead and put all the blankets in the tent. Well, when the tornado of 1999 came through, they got soaked.
So, at midnight, when we are finally in our tent, the blankets are all  soaking wet and I am complaining about that. Tiny Tim says to me, “Ollie just pretend!” What ,pretend I am not wet? Pretend we are not sleeping downhill on sloppy, wet ground in a tent what was literally beaten and thrown around during the tornado? Those are the wisest words my Mom has ever said. What a revelation!

So, J let me tell you that I have been there, done that when it comes to camping.I am not scared to camp anywhere or sleep anywhere. We will be attempting to go again so bring it on! And if we can't go again because of the rain, we will just pretend!

 

Melted our Hearts

Yesterday was a great day at school. We had our black history program which everyone in the school is involved in.  This is one of the best days at our school because we do not have very many assemblies. Not near as many as we did when I was in school. So, I was pumped, the kids were pumped but we had no idea what a great show it would be.
First of all, I was a cheerleader. I know all of my friends right now are laughing because let's face it, I can't do a jump or a cartwheel or a flip of any kind. But honey, I cheered my little "Jacket" heart out in front of the school. My kiddos said they loved me. This is what they said, " Mrs. Willinham( yes that is how they pronounce it) you was the best!"

 We were not the highlight of the show. These precious children were. These children are from Uganda, Africa and have been in the United States since January. They travel around all across the US to share God's word through song and dance. Let me tell you, these kids can move. I have never seen moves like these before. They were awesome.

They sang," He Know my Name" first. We were all in tears because we were told these kids have nothing. No TV, not many clothes, they literally have nothing, they live in an orphanage, they have nothing and nobody, except the wonderful people who take care of them and each other. They eat corn mash all year long except for Christmas and Easter when they get a treat- chicken.
They have nothing yet were singing and praising God with a smile on their face. Precious!!
What was so great about this children's choir, is that some our students, who are usually the ones causing trouble, broke down. For the first time ever, something had touched them and affected them like never before. Our students were truly touched and we saw sides of some kids we had never seen. And for that I am thankful! You can check out their website http://www.penniesforposho.org/ .
We take for granted so many things. God reminded us all yesterday how blessed we are!

I said Yes...

4 years ago today Jay asked me to marry him. I know many of you have heard this story but it is worth retelling.
Jay and I had decided to go to the Cheesecake Factory for our early Valentine's dinner. We decided to stop by Cheaha on the way and go to Bald Rock to take pictures- my idea of fun. So Saturday, about 2:00 Jay came and picked me up at my house and we set off. We stopped by Moore's on the way because Jay said, " I have got to get something to eat. I have not eaten all day long." I thought that was strange but did not think anything else about it. He got a piece of pizza and we went on our way.
When we got to Cheaha, we walked to Bald Rock took some pictures and walked back to the truck. It was very cold-not unbearable.

 We got back in the truck and drove down to the Pulpit Rock trailhead. Jay suggested that I put a jacket on and then my puffer vest over that for extra warmth because it takes a little while to get to Pulpit Rock. Looking back, that was not the best advice Jay ever gave me because I looked like the Pillsbury Doughboy while he proposed- oh well.

We get to Pulpit Rock and the view is very pretty- better than Bald Rock any day. Jay walks behind me. He hugs me and says, " You know I love you." I said, " Yes." As I turn around, he gets on his knee and says, " Will you marry me?"

I would love to say that my initial reaction was yes followed by tears of happiness. Instead, I screamed, " Are you serious? I don't understand!! When did you get this? Are you serious? " In the mean time, I am backing up, closer and closer to the edge. My legs were shaking uncontrollably- I promise they were moving on their own. Finally, Jay, still on bended knee shouts, " Ollie, you are going to fall off of this mountian. Will you marry me?" I screamed, " Yes!!!" He put that beautiful ring on my finger and I kissed my fiance for the very first time.

I was so excited and wanted to tell everyone right then. Instead of going to the Cheesecake factory, we headed back to my house to tell Mom and Dad. I spent the next 2 hours on the phone calling people and then we went to his parents house. I talked to all my friends that day.

We ate our engagement dinner at Applebees- the Cheesecake factory would not see us for another year.

I am thankful for so much in my life but especially Jay. Thank you Jay for loving me and knowing how to love me. I love coming home to him everyday and even though he drives me crazy sometimes; life would be so boring without this man. If I had it to do again, I would not change one single thing!!!